Yeah, 2008 is gonna be the year man, I swear....
more push ups.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
anus replacememt surgery
Holy fuck, it's been a long time.
Update!!!
I'm opening a small gym in Little Haiti for one on one training.
I'm getting ready for the 2012 Lizard Invasion and also pooping a lot.
FIBER RICH DIET.
see you l8r h8r
Update!!!
I'm opening a small gym in Little Haiti for one on one training.
I'm getting ready for the 2012 Lizard Invasion and also pooping a lot.
FIBER RICH DIET.
see you l8r h8r
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Okay, fat chicks, please stop requesting Trina's new song 'Single Again'. You're not single again, you just got ass raped in the Lounge bathroom, again. That is not a relationship. That is a business transaction for another Long Island date rape Tea. No, I don't have it, will never have it. When you ask why, I really want to puke on your over exposed cleavage, but I also want to keep my job so I'll just tell you that i forgot to download it. WHUPS! I FORGOT TO DOWNLOAD IT....on your fucking face. Get a life. And please come back and spend your minimum wage Burger King paycheck.
Also, middle aged guys with a gut and a goatee, please don't ask me for some 'breakdance, y'know, breakdance...like wikki wikki wikki n shit'. No, I don't know...I mean, I do, but I'm playing a solid set of roots... music I actually don't mind and I'm forgetting where I am for 10 minutes you fuck. Sorry, I mean, "Oh yeah, I'll get that right on".
Breakdance your ass off you crippled excuse for a human being with a life.
Speaking of backbreaking, don't make a request and tell me you're going to give me 10 bucks to play it and then give me 7. Fuck sake, 7 is not 10. Thank you Miami-Dade school system for manufacturing some of the most impressive reasons to keep abortion legal. Jesus saves, etc.
Still on breakdancing...
Sunday Andy Smith from Portishead played at the Lounge. Who cares. I checked out about 5 minutes of 'UK breakbeat' after I was forced to get off of my chair (in my underwear, watching MMA eating a salad) in order to fix a sound issue. "I can't get no sound in the headphones". Look, next time, stay home and figure out how a MOTHERFUCKING DJ mixer works. Turntables plug into the PHONO jacks. They have a different IMPEDANCE than line levels. You'll actually get a signal and I won't have to get off of my ass and bring an extra turntable from my set up because you think one is acting 'sticky'. Jesus, you can't DJ your way out of an HIV positive cat's ass. STAY HOME AND PRACTICE. This goes for all of you wack ass suck-n-fuck cociane whore DJ's...pretty much 98.9% of Miami....Stay home, do yourself a favor.
Ah, whatever. This city wouldn't know quality unless it was served with free drinks and syphilis. Then it'd be something familiar
.
and still with the breakdancing...
If you're gonna have a 'rapper' 'band'', please leave Kenny G and the Jamsters out of it. If I wanted to hear smooth jazz improvised poorly with 'yo, here we go, we're in the flow and you know that we blow, yiggidy yoyoyo' I'd put on an US3 record and send more hate mail to Blue Note.
Also, to the guys in the parking lot, that was the best fight I've seen, EVER!!! seriously, it made me sick to my stomach. Foot stomp to the face? check. Knee to the head? check (multiple) Full force hip toss? check. Piledriver onto asphalt? oh yes. And that was just the first minute. But a word to the guy that caught the worst (not that there was a best)...try not saying 'Is that all you got?' over and over. That's why you got choked out in the end and had to have the fight stopped while you tried to walk away and got melon punched over and over...You were out of gas from talking so much. But really, kudo's for the broken bones, concussion's, split faces and brain damage. Very entertaining. When you asked 'how did I do, did I win...' I wasn't sure if you meant in life or the fight. Either way, I don't think there were any winners there. Good luck with that long term memory loss.
I'm gonna go rest all day and race tomorrow. See you in the club.
PLAYLIST
-Bob Sinclair-World Hold On (I always think of douchbags in convertibles balding when I hear this, it makes me smile)
-Trick Daddy-Dro In the Wind, Take It To The House
-Beenie Man-Who Am
-TOK-Chi Chi Man (I enjoy playing hate monger songs to people that have no idea what is being said and sing along)
Biggie On 45 (thank you serato for that pitxh adaption software, I can now mix shitty clib rap fatster)
I tried to forget the rest....
Also, middle aged guys with a gut and a goatee, please don't ask me for some 'breakdance, y'know, breakdance...like wikki wikki wikki n shit'. No, I don't know...I mean, I do, but I'm playing a solid set of roots... music I actually don't mind and I'm forgetting where I am for 10 minutes you fuck. Sorry, I mean, "Oh yeah, I'll get that right on".
Breakdance your ass off you crippled excuse for a human being with a life.
Speaking of backbreaking, don't make a request and tell me you're going to give me 10 bucks to play it and then give me 7. Fuck sake, 7 is not 10. Thank you Miami-Dade school system for manufacturing some of the most impressive reasons to keep abortion legal. Jesus saves, etc.
Still on breakdancing...
Sunday Andy Smith from Portishead played at the Lounge. Who cares. I checked out about 5 minutes of 'UK breakbeat' after I was forced to get off of my chair (in my underwear, watching MMA eating a salad) in order to fix a sound issue. "I can't get no sound in the headphones". Look, next time, stay home and figure out how a MOTHERFUCKING DJ mixer works. Turntables plug into the PHONO jacks. They have a different IMPEDANCE than line levels. You'll actually get a signal and I won't have to get off of my ass and bring an extra turntable from my set up because you think one is acting 'sticky'. Jesus, you can't DJ your way out of an HIV positive cat's ass. STAY HOME AND PRACTICE. This goes for all of you wack ass suck-n-fuck cociane whore DJ's...pretty much 98.9% of Miami....Stay home, do yourself a favor.
Ah, whatever. This city wouldn't know quality unless it was served with free drinks and syphilis. Then it'd be something familiar
.
and still with the breakdancing...
If you're gonna have a 'rapper' 'band'', please leave Kenny G and the Jamsters out of it. If I wanted to hear smooth jazz improvised poorly with 'yo, here we go, we're in the flow and you know that we blow, yiggidy yoyoyo' I'd put on an US3 record and send more hate mail to Blue Note.
Also, to the guys in the parking lot, that was the best fight I've seen, EVER!!! seriously, it made me sick to my stomach. Foot stomp to the face? check. Knee to the head? check (multiple) Full force hip toss? check. Piledriver onto asphalt? oh yes. And that was just the first minute. But a word to the guy that caught the worst (not that there was a best)...try not saying 'Is that all you got?' over and over. That's why you got choked out in the end and had to have the fight stopped while you tried to walk away and got melon punched over and over...You were out of gas from talking so much. But really, kudo's for the broken bones, concussion's, split faces and brain damage. Very entertaining. When you asked 'how did I do, did I win...' I wasn't sure if you meant in life or the fight. Either way, I don't think there were any winners there. Good luck with that long term memory loss.
I'm gonna go rest all day and race tomorrow. See you in the club.
PLAYLIST
-Bob Sinclair-World Hold On (I always think of douchbags in convertibles balding when I hear this, it makes me smile)
-Trick Daddy-Dro In the Wind, Take It To The House
-Beenie Man-Who Am
-TOK-Chi Chi Man (I enjoy playing hate monger songs to people that have no idea what is being said and sing along)
Biggie On 45 (thank you serato for that pitxh adaption software, I can now mix shitty clib rap fatster)
I tried to forget the rest....
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Well, let's see here.....ate some jerk chicken out of the back of a white 'rasta imposta' car in ft. lauderdale at 4AM. not a good idea. had to do a cleanse after that.
Nastie and I went to Orlando on wednesday to play a show that was nothing short of fucking weird. Hey promoters, try not doing tons of blow and then shorting us on the cash, okay? OKAY!!!
And then to top it off, how about having some fucking beer at the place where we're going to stay. And try not having a bunch of butch lesbians farting around and doing more coke all 'secretive' like. it's not secret when three people sneak off into a closet for 30 seconds. We don't care, don't do coke, don't like it, etc. But at least act like a human and be proud of your lame ass drug ingestion instead of pretending like you're all happy and shit and life is good and you're sober as all get up. What's that? We're taking you to lunch? Usually it's the other way around, seeing how we just drove 4 hours for peanuts and less cash than agreed upon. FUCKSAKE. I like you and you're nice and all, but WTF, don't have us buy you lunch and then spend half of the meal on your cell phone talking to people about how 'the music was the bomb, but there just were not enough heads' blah blah blah BOO HOO. Vomit.
And then Friday, club land, who cares. Money.
Saturday stayed home and watched Barbie movies.
Sunday did HIP HOP Karoke after locking my fucking keys in my car, being in a hurry to get to the gig an hour early, waiting for a locksmith, getting to the gig an hour 'late' and no one is even fucking there. There are reasons I am taking classes.
That's right, by NYE I will be a certified personal trainer. Wanna get buff, lose weight, gain confidence? I am your man. Every Sunday in 2008 you can attend 'Hipster Boot Camp' and get your soft fluffy angled hair cut ass beat in to shape for 5 bucks. Work off that hangover the old fashioned way, shut the fuck up and give me 20.
I gotta go to the airport now. Courtney as all Mr. International Hotel designer and shit. Someone needs to take care of him. FUCK YEAH!!! USA!
Nastie and I went to Orlando on wednesday to play a show that was nothing short of fucking weird. Hey promoters, try not doing tons of blow and then shorting us on the cash, okay? OKAY!!!
And then to top it off, how about having some fucking beer at the place where we're going to stay. And try not having a bunch of butch lesbians farting around and doing more coke all 'secretive' like. it's not secret when three people sneak off into a closet for 30 seconds. We don't care, don't do coke, don't like it, etc. But at least act like a human and be proud of your lame ass drug ingestion instead of pretending like you're all happy and shit and life is good and you're sober as all get up. What's that? We're taking you to lunch? Usually it's the other way around, seeing how we just drove 4 hours for peanuts and less cash than agreed upon. FUCKSAKE. I like you and you're nice and all, but WTF, don't have us buy you lunch and then spend half of the meal on your cell phone talking to people about how 'the music was the bomb, but there just were not enough heads' blah blah blah BOO HOO. Vomit.
And then Friday, club land, who cares. Money.
Saturday stayed home and watched Barbie movies.
Sunday did HIP HOP Karoke after locking my fucking keys in my car, being in a hurry to get to the gig an hour early, waiting for a locksmith, getting to the gig an hour 'late' and no one is even fucking there. There are reasons I am taking classes.
That's right, by NYE I will be a certified personal trainer. Wanna get buff, lose weight, gain confidence? I am your man. Every Sunday in 2008 you can attend 'Hipster Boot Camp' and get your soft fluffy angled hair cut ass beat in to shape for 5 bucks. Work off that hangover the old fashioned way, shut the fuck up and give me 20.
I gotta go to the airport now. Courtney as all Mr. International Hotel designer and shit. Someone needs to take care of him. FUCK YEAH!!! USA!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
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